Divids Life Stories

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Divids Stories

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One magical night in the mut

Well it was one Saturday nite in the mut I was quitely sippin my pint of ale a little depressed after the england game, little did I know wot was about to come into my life. All of a sudden this beautiful beast walk in the mut, I caught her eye and i said sorry. Afta that we got talkin and it turned out she was a slag afta five years jackin off I thought...............  this is the bird for me.
My new bird!

Love birds!

Rfling Tesco

I had to go meet sonia, she was havin a shit in holland park, it was about 11am on a school day wer it, sonia had a fantastic idea she come over to me and whispered in my ear "Div lets rifle some parker pens from tesco" I said "Could do R". We was halfway to tesco when sonia suddenly stopped .......she spotted marios chip shop in the distance day she, she loved savaloy so much she pissed her pants. 5 hours later we got to tesco we walked in, the security guard gave us funny looks so we flicked the V's and carryed on, we got to the stationary section and the seaguling commenced, we pegged it but the manager had spotted us day he we ran to the car park sonia soon jumped on her jipo scooter I tried to get on but there wer no fuckin room wer the, she sped away and I got court day I.

the time we went to Torkey day we

well anyway we went to Torkey day we it daern sarf ay it neah perntern aye it.We went daern cuz of wes's (the one that sold matty a table and had a shit on it without cleanin it day he) stag do day we.we all went on the piss day we.Duggan come come day he.yeah Duggan the mad one (his got certifcates to prove it aye he)he day pay for a room did he the tight cunt aye he.so we went back to the hotel and duggan slept on the landing day when  he so was asleep i crept up on him day i pulled my percy out day i un started to piss on im day i.When he woke up the next morning he told everyone that he saw the hotel manager chuck water on him day he.i was secretly loffing war i.Still to this day he day know it was me that pissed on him HAHA.and finally to sign off ay it.DAERRRRVVVVEEEE

most of this story is bullshit it was simo that pissed on duggan war it 

bollox ya CUNTS!!!

Divids detox. Went on a detox starting 1st of january. Cum off it 2nd of january

 

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Hows it guwin Kenny Mower yaw alrite.
Were so sorry you dont live here Kenny Mower.